


[Podfic] Your Perfect Offering

by Lockedinjohnlock



Series: Offered Landscapes [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, English Accent, First Time, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Psychological Trauma, Rape Recovery, Romance, Soundcloud
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-08 03:57:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 0
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13450035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lockedinjohnlock/pseuds/Lockedinjohnlock
Summary: “Sherlock,” John continues, careful and quiet. “I’ve seen your back. I know you were hurt. I don’t want to pry, I don’t want to cause you discomfort but...I’m starting to think something else happened there. In Serbia.”Sherlock rolls away and sits up on the edge of the bed, his back to John.“A great many things happened in Serbia,” he says, flat and remote. “None of them were pleasant.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CaitlinFairchild](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaitlinFairchild/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Your Perfect Offering](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5313785) by [CaitlinFairchild](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaitlinFairchild/pseuds/CaitlinFairchild). 



> Author's Note: IMPORTANT: This story is, essentially, a rape recovery fic. There is an in depth, though not explicit discussion of the actual incident, in chapter 3. The focus here is on John and Sherlock working on establishing a trusting physical relationship in the aftermath of deeply buried trauma.
> 
> Locky's Note: That said, this is the most moving story of two men trying to find a way towards love and trust. I am honoured to be given permission to voice this wonderful story. If I've done my job right, it will make you love them all the harder (and Mycroft, too, who is an absolute hero).

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John doesn’t want to know what happened. But at the same time, he does. Perhaps knowledge would help. Perhaps knowledge would help him help Sherlock, or at least know better to navigate this dreadful icy impasse and get them back on firmer, warmer ground.
> 
> And the truth at the heart of it all is this: He doesn’t want to know the details just for the sake of knowing; that terrible knowledge would be as sharp and cold as a knife in his heart, but even that pain, he thinks, would be a relief from the exquisite, endless hell of wondering. It’s the difference between being terrified of the unseen terrors of the dark, and knowing exactly what monsters lurk in the inky depths, the dimensions of their teeth and claws and how best to kill them in a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adore Mycroft in this chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “God, John,” Sherlock says, his voice catching, the cool calculating tone slipping away as emotion wells up, takes over. “You don’t know how much I wish you had never found out. I didn’t know I would--I thought I could box it up, bury it all forever, at the bottom of the deepest pit, never think of it again. And I did. I had moved on. I had deleted it. And then you kissed me, and you touched me, and I wanted you to, good God I wanted you to so much, but...I didn’t know. It’s so naive, so unbelievably clueless of me, but I didn’t know my body had held on to the memories my mind resolved to forget.
> 
> “And you knowing, the way you look at me now, is so very...I would rather have you be as angry as you were when I came back, a hundred times over, a thousand, then have to endure one more second of you looking at me with that remote, careful pity in your eyes. It’s absolutely hateful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: (also verbalised at the beginning of the chapter)  
> Okay, fair warning.
> 
> I had a very, very difficult time writing this chapter. You may have a harder time reading it.
> 
> This narrative, while not particularly explicit or pornographic in any detail is very, very difficult and potentially triggering. It contains intense discussions of the emotional aftermath of rape and abuse.
> 
> If these are things that could cause you distress or emotional difficulties, please proceed with extreme caution. I love you all and I want you to be safe.
> 
> I hope it is apparent to everyone reading this that there is absolutely no titillation or salacious intent here.
> 
> This story went to places I didn't expect, and I think the journey is going to be very worthwhile in the end.
> 
> Thank you so much for your faith in me. It means more than I can ever, ever express.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ve missed you,” John tells him, simple and heartfelt.
> 
> “I know,” Sherlock whispers.
> 
> “Have you come back for good?” John asks.
> 
> Sherlock thinks for a moment. “Not entirely. But I’m--I’m working on it.”
> 
> “I’m glad.”
> 
> “So am I.” Sherlock pulls his head back slightly and gives John a searching look, chins folding up adorably.
> 
> “But what about you?” he asks. “Are you…” he searches for the right words, fails, parrots John’s words instead. “Have you come back too?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dizzy and almost overwhelmed with sensation, John breaks the kiss, sliding wet lips along the rough end-of-day stubble along Sherlock’s jawline as Sherlock’s hands pull him in even closer, roam restlessly up and down his back in unspoken request.
> 
> “What do you want?” John breathes into his ear. “Anything. You can have anything. Just tell me.”
> 
> Sherlock’s arms tighten around him
> 
> “I want you to take off your clothes,” Sherlock says, and his deep voice is roughened at the edges but assured, with a quiet certainty John hasn’t heard in weeks. “Will you do that for me, John?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John closes his eyes and presses his forehead into Sherlock’s chest. He’s somehow surprised by the wetness flowing from his eyes, spilling over onto his cheeks, wetting Sherlock’s skin as John gives himself over to the embrace, allows Sherlock to give him comfort in this moment of unexpected confusion and anxiety.
> 
> He wraps his arms around Sherlock’s slender waist; they hold each other tightly for a long time, entwined in each other, swaying almost imperceptibly as John weeps, silently, against Sherlock’s warm soft skin.
> 
> “You’ve shouldered so much of my burden,” Sherlock murmurs, lips brushing against the shell of ear, voice just barely above a whisper. “So much, and so bravely.”
> 
> “Not all the time,” John rasps. “Sometimes I shout and stomp away, or do or say things I regret -- ”
> 
> “I don’t care,” Sherlock cuts him off, quiet but emphatic, enunciating every syllable. “I don’t give a damn if you're not perfect. I don’t want perfect. I never have. I just want you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are at the end of another month and another podfic!  
> It has been a pleasure and an honour to present this wonderful story to you - I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have!
> 
> Tomorrow sees a change of pace and a change of characters - Mystraders, pin back thy lug'oles!


End file.
